Thursday, September 15, 2011

Ranting About the Torchwood Finale

Let's just pretend that I waited this long to talk about the Torchwood finale because I needed a few days to let what happened settle, but to be honest as soon as I saw the episode I promptly forgot about it and haven't turned back since. It was not a good finale for a season that was already quite sub-par. It was full of monologuing characters that is just excruciating to get through if you're a viewer and plot holes so numerous I couldn't even really keep count.

I said last week that the show had really painted itself into a corner leaving just one episode to explain what The Blessing was, how it caused Miracle Day, and why The Family is so interested in this and in Jack. The how and the why were answered via the many clumsily written monologues in the episode. The what on the other hand was largely hand-waved. "This might be the most terrestrial thing of them all" was the only real answer we get. The Family, wanting to control the world, used Jack's blood to make The Blessing make everyone in the world immortal by changing its template. You see, The Blessing is somehow in a symbiotic relationship with humanity and it... oh my God I think I fell asleep writing this paragraph. Long story short, Jack and co. realized that the only way to reset the whole world is to now feed The Blessing Jack's now mortal blood. The only catch, which the bad guys felt the need to share with the rest of us in extreme detail, was that Jack's blood must be introduced to The Blessing on both sides of the poles. Why they didn't just keep mum on this little factoid letting Jack die for nothing especially after DECADES of planning this whole thing is beyond me.

So apart from not getting to know what The Blessing was, we were also treated to The Family being really, really dumb for most of this episode despite nine episodes worth of evidence to tell us how all-powerful and all-knowing they've been for decades. It fact, it seemed their plan would've worked perfectly if they had just been able to kill Jack from the very beginning. With all of their resources, manpower, and time throughout this whole ordeal, it's a bit ludicrous to make us believe that they just weren't able to do this. Why did they NEVER use Gwen and her family (the way Colasanto did) to get to Jack? All they had to do was KILL HIM in these ten episodes! Even at the end when Rex and Jack were ready to make their noble sacrifice, I thought it was common sense for them to shoot Esther and use her life as a final bargaining chip. Why then did they not shoot Gwen as well (apart from the actress being the lead actress and sure to return for next season)? Dumb, dumb, dumb. And what was up with that cliffhanger ending? Rex is immortal now? Seriously? We're doing that?

Notice I didn't mention anything about Oswald Danes, Jilly Kitzinger, Antonio Colasanto, Gwen's dad, and many of the other plot threads and characters that were seemingly important early on, but played almost no impact whatsoever to the bigger story. "The future can change. It's being written right now." Jack said this in the finale, but after this season can I get these ten episodes re-written instead?

Torchwood Finale - D+
Torchwood: Miracle Day - C+

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